Bros Before Boyfriends
by SuperMegaFoxyAwesomeHot
Summary: Sam and Cooper have occupied both the loft and all of Blaine's attention. Kurt's not having it anymore. Mostly fluff!


**This fic was prompted by my lovely friend Caroline (thehouseofthebrave on Tumblr). It's the first of four prompts I solicited for people's Valentines, so be expecting three more relatively soon!**

* * *

"DUDE!"

"Oh my _God!_"

"They did _not _just imply that Shakespeare was bisexual!"

That last yell finally spurred Kurt out of the sanctuary he had made in his bedroom with his fashion magazines and enough coffee to drown a toddler in. He cautiously wandered out into the living room, where the atmosphere of _dork _was so strong that Kurt was surprised he wasn't choking on it.

Sam, Blaine, and Cooper were sprawled all over the living room furniture, days-old bowls of chips and popcorn haphazardly spread between them, though there might have been more food on the floor than there actually was in the dishes. The TV was blaring _Doctor Who_, as it had been for the past three days, although it was at least a welcome change from the marathon of _Star Trek _the boys had been watching for the week prior. There were blankets and pillows thrown about as well, thanks to the prolonged presence of Cooper and Sam in the already-crowded loft. The mess made Kurt's left eye start twitching erratically, as did the fact that Blaine had been enjoying his 'bro time' so much that they hadn't so much as kissed in almost two weeks.

"What in the _world _are you guys doing out here?" Kurt asked after he'd taken in the scene before him. He crossed his arms over his chest and jutted out one hip angrily, directing the majority of his death glare directly at Blaine in the hopes that he'd crack first.

Kurt wasn't disappointed. "Uh, hey, baby," Blaine began sheepishly, rubbing one hand self-consciously along the back of his neck through the mess of curls that had come ungelled back there. He disentangled himself from the nest of blankets he and Sam were sharing on the couch (Cooper had commandeered the entire loveseat for himself) and walked over to Kurt. "We were gonna clean everything up after this episode, honestly!"

"Uh huh. I seem to remember you saying that yesterday as you started watching season two of this clusterfuck of a TV show, too," Kurt said acerbically.

"They're called _series_, not seasons, Kurt!" Sam yelled pedantically.

"Sam, hey, I got this," Blaine interjected quickly, holding his hands against Kurt's chest to keep him from flying across the room and throttling Sam. Kurt grumbled wordlessly under his breath for a moment, but let Blaine restrain him.

"Blaine, would you mind following me into our room for a moment?" Kurt asked, although he wasn't really making it optional. Cooper cat-called after them as they left, leading Blaine to hold Kurt back yet again.

"What's up, baby?" Blaine asked once they were alone, taking a seat on the edge of their bed.

"What's _up_?" Kurt parroted incredulously. "_What's up? _Blaine, we haven't had a serious conversation in almost two weeks, and you lead with 'what's up'?" He could feel his face reddening with anger, but the look on Blaine's face going from curious to petrified kept him from absolutely flying off the handle.

"Whatever I did wrong, Kurt, I swear, I will fix it. Would you like a month of back rubs? Or maybe I could fix you breakfast for a week-" Blaine was babbling in his terror, and Kurt was kind of proud that his anger could inspire such an impassioned response. He smiled a little, mollified by Blaine's sincerity.

"No, Blaine, I don't need any of that – although if you're offering, I will _definitely _take you up on those back rubs," Kurt said, walking over to sit next to him. "What I really need is for you to get rid of your brother and our accidental roommate already."

"I thought you were okay with Sam staying for a while, though? Since he got his water cut and everything?" Blaine said, grasping Kurt's hand in his own.

"Yeah, for a while, Blaine, but it's been nearly two weeks. I know for a fact his water came back on, because he got the phone call at dinner last week. So why is he still here?" Kurt asked pointedly.

"Well, we were midway through _Star Trek_, and by the time we finished it was too late for him to leave, and then Cooper got here and begged us to teach him about _Doctor Who _so he can nail his audition for that porn parody of it next month-"

"Wait, he's auditioning for _what_?" Kurt interrupted, stunned.

"Don't remind me," Blaine said, rolling his eyes. "But anyways, I guess we did get a little caught up. I'm sorry, baby."

"B, you've been sleeping in a puppy pile with your best friend and your brother for over a week now. 'A little caught up' doesn't even begin to describe it," Kurt said teasingly.

"Okay, a lot caught up. But Cooper's flying out tomorrow and I can probably convince Sam to leave by telling him that aliens definitely invade people's apartments if they don't return within a week and a half, so will you save me a space in our bed tonight?" Blaine asked, batting his eyelashes and smirking knowingly at Kurt.

"I _suppose_," Kurt sighed melodramatically, although he couldn't hide a smile. He cuddled closer to Blaine and dropped his head on his shoulder, relishing the feeling of having his fiance back in his arms again. "Oh my God, you smell like ass!" he exclaimed after sticking his nose in Blaine's neck to catch his scent. "When was your last shower?"

"Uh..." Blaine said, squinting into the middle distance. "Thursday?"

"Thurs- Blaine, it's Wednesday now!" Kurt yelled, springing to his feet. "Go take a shower!"

"You know, Sam didn't complain that I smell bad," Blaine pouted as he got up and walked to his dresser. "Maybe I'll keep him around and make _you_ leave."

Kurt walked over to him and pulled him into a searingly hot kiss, pouring out all of his pent-up hormones.

"Okay, yeah, Sam's gotta go," Blaine said dazedly. He stumbled back a bit. "Like, now. I'm gonna go kick him out now."

"Smart boy," Kurt teased as he walked out of the bedroom, shaking his hips the whole way.


End file.
